I can't believe this year will mean I've been a mum for 9 years. I've raised a little tiny baby into a beautiful little person. Wait, what? I look at Isabelle and I see a reflection of myself and David, what we have created. And then I see so much more than we could have ever imagined.
I see this amazingly talented young girl. No longer a little girl, she's sort of in between being little and not so little. She's always been this bouncing bright light that never tires, always wanting to please, always always seeing those rainbows and having that innocence I want to preserve forever.
Isabelle. She can sleep through a hurricane and eat her way through a family pack of weetabix in a week. For someone so tiny she's a powerhouse. She's also the most care free person I know. If I could see into the future I'd see her with a backpack across her tanned toned shoulders, hair pulled up in a whispy bun, an assortment of clothes that on the shelf have no style or purpose but on her look amazingly cool, as she travels across the globe picking up stories and creating her own. Whether she does this or not doesn't matter, I know she will be happy and follow her wild heart.
She currently works her perfect little peachy butt off hurtling down the track in her elite tumbling squad which she has only been apart of 9 months and yet the skills she has accomplished are those worth several years of training. I squirm behind parted fingers as she leaps into the air and does some crazy hands free round off followed by 6 flicks and lands perfectly. Or sometimes doesnt. Sometimes she gets hurt and that motherly instinct to rush to her and wrap her in bubble wrap is overpowering. She's pushed hard and sometimes that's tough on her, but she's always determined to go back the next session and nail it. When she's not training what feels like every spare hour of the week she's trying flicks and whips on the trampoline or cartwheeling from A to B, inside, outside, in the shops, it doesn't matter where. She's always on the move. And yet this bustling busy bee can sit for hours beautifully and patiently, intricately colouring in those relaxing colouring books you find on most shelves with such calm and serenity it's hard to imagine it's the same person (me and Eloise attempt this and get bored after 5 minutes).
It saddens me in one way that I see the future when I look at her, I see her beauty and her spirit. I know us mums say it so often but sometimes I just want to freeze time. I feel I need a little more time with these few precious years while she is still my little girl and needs me. With my other two dividing my attention Isabelle has wistfully carried on growing and becoming this person and I look up and suddenly see her. I see the demands I ask of her, I hear myself telling her to grow up. And then when I have time to reflect I take it all back. I want to just pull her close to me on my knee and give her the biggest cuddle I can possibly give and breathe her all in. My amazing little girl who just makes me swell with love, pride and joy. I didn't know it was possible to love so hard until I had children. Even on those days when it's all a bit crap they are my light.
Isabelle will always be a bright spirit, whatever she decides to do in life I know she will find love and happiness as it just follows her in a glittery cloud.
Happiest of birthdays to date I hope, with a lifetime more to follow ❤